12:40 am
Well, of course the video thing doesn't seem so important now that I'm not stoned. Interesting, ¿no? I did mention it to Annelies. But didn't really pursue it much. I spent 3 hours visiting with her and Elisabeth and Fernando. That was nice. Annelies is putting together signs for teaching yoga. I got paid $200 today. They still owe me $300. And $700 next Tuesday. Same old.
11:00 am
Great day. Overcast, a bit cool. And the streets are deserted because estamos en fiesta. It's the Día de la Patrona de Málaga -- la Virgen de la Victoria. Kinda an eerie feeling being downtown on a day like this. Refreshing, really. "This Charming Man" by The Smiths has been making a comeback on the radio. I like it. I don't know. I'm just enjoying floating through life right now.
8:00 pm
I love the beach at this time of day. It's so cool, the waves are all you hear, along with the church bells ringing out the hour. It's just so peaceful. No crowds. A good time to reflect. Annelies and I have been talking about relationships -- both gay and straight. She says Javier is interested in me, but I'm not in him. Annelies is really fascinating, albeit a bit long-winded. She's so open, so out-going -- like almost all the Dutch people I've met. I love the long shadows on the sand. I need to stay by water. Maybe I'll move to Guam. Or Boston. I'm not sure where that came from. I'm so happy when I don't spend any money. Because it means that I'll have more money to travel. That's where all the resources need to go now. All the "potential" income. Sevilla. Córdoba. Granada, the Algarve. Still ahead on the agenda in October. I wonder where I'll be on my 30th birthday.
Tuesday, September 8, 1992
Sunday, September 6, 1992
3:30 pm
So I did the wedding last night. Pretty boring. But should be an extra $80. I'm still very frustrated with the language. But I talked with José about politics, work, etc. We had a little excitement finding the photo shop flooded upon our arrival there. Nice diversion. Anyway, the wedding was okay. I do enjoy the food. I've had some great fish -- swordfish, prawns, cream of lobster soup -- pork cutlets, veal, cream of almond soup, all sorts of fun things. But it's still work. I was talking to Eva, the Swedish secretary at Miramar, and De today. Complaining about Spain. Eva had her hours cut from 8 to 4 hours a day. Not enough to live on, of course, but what can you do? Everyone seems to have money problems here. I've decided that I'll offer to stay on at work if they pay me $5/hour daily. If not, I'll leave the 15th. And if I'm not paid by the 15th, I'll strike again. So really, only 7 more days, because they probably won't accept my offer. It would be nice to earn a little extra money until October. Then I'd have money to travel. Maybe it will work out yet!
10:50 pm
¡Hola! What a funny sound. I'd like to write about it, but I have to hang the laundry. Oh shit, it can wait. I was in my apartment -- stoned -- when Annelies called up to ask if I wanted to get my laundry. (I use her washing machine.) So I went and visited with her and Corrine. Annelies is so funny! We were talking about jobs -- like always, it seems -- and Annelies said she doesn't have to worry about that now since the government pays her. So she just meditates. Then she launched into a story of a "yoga retreat" on a hill, 7 kilometers from any villages, where she spent a week. She felt locked in with a bunch of loonies -- but she couldn't leave for a week. What a great experience. Anyway, "hola" came from the greeting as I passed by Danny and Matilde on my way back home.
Cooking popcorn in extra virgin olive oil. Strange mixture of Spanish and American gastronomic cultures. Oh yeah. Annelies was talking about De's family pictures from Ireland. How they looked like the Bronte family -- and there was De in the middle. Dressed to the nines in fashionable turn-of-the-century Irish outerwear -- with perfectly tilted hats. And here, De parades around half-naked and "beasting" (as Corrine says.) But she still wears a rakish straw hat!
So much salt in this popcorn. And dry. I was thinking that De's tilted hat is a hint of the conservative background from which she comes. A throwback to the old ways. I wrote back to Ann and Ann. They're so great. I said I was thinking about gay/lesbian educational issues as a field to get into. Ann H. is such a traveler. She says her feet belong to gypsies. Yes! It sure is interesting to see who writes/calls and who doesn't. Very interesting. Revealing. My back hurts.
Orange juice and popcorn. Love it! The juice here sure is good. It's interesting to compare Spain to the U.S. The U.S. is more health-conscious. Here everyone smokes, they tend to use a lot of salt, drinking's a way of life. Although I do see a lot of joggers along the beach. And they certainly walk a lot more here. It's also interesting to see they have a Youth Sexual Orientation Center in Málaga, with the phone number listed along with police, Red Cross, etc. on page two of the local paper. They also just liberalized abortion laws now, when the U.S. is about to de-liberalize them. José says it's amazing how far Spain's progressed in just 16 years of democracy. Yes, it is. Considering the U.S. has had 216! Shouldn't we know better by now? They've separated church and state, relaxed morality laws, extended rights to former outcasts. Supposedly, Gorbachev had Spain in mind when he thought of how best to democratize his country. The government is still definitely ahead of the people, however. Old traditions die hard. Still a lot of machismo. Still a sense of country bumpkin. It may take another generation. A poll said 85% of Spanish youth do not disapprove of homosexuality. That's certainly hopeful!
I just had the song "Cherish" by the Association going through my head. I loved that song! And "Hooked on a Feeling." I also liked "I Woke Up in Love This Morning." Wasn't David Cassidy just dreamy? (Is Shirley Jones dead? I can't remember! I know Carolyn Jones is dead. But Shirley? No, I think her husband, Marty Adler died.)
I've really upset myself. During last year's travels I thought it would be great to videotape people's "stories." A variety of travelers. Well, dammit, they're all here an Málaga. I've got the equipment. I could make a documentary. Annelies is full of stories. And De. Dave and Gitta. Joel. Julian. Mitchell. It could work. Another potential multi-million dollar project. Maybe I need to go back to the states for a little boost in confidence, first. I need Jenny here to push me. Or anyone. Myself? I've really been brain-storming this idea. Let's see if it goes anywhere. I feel I'm on the brink...of something.
1:00 am
I'm really angry with myself. Why didn't I think of this earlier -- when I had the equipment and time? Now I've got a week or so. I'll have to come back. Or do it somewhere else. Travels. I want to concentrate on that. International people, too. Young, "Let's Go"-types. God, life can be exciting. I have to get Annelies to help me.
So I did the wedding last night. Pretty boring. But should be an extra $80. I'm still very frustrated with the language. But I talked with José about politics, work, etc. We had a little excitement finding the photo shop flooded upon our arrival there. Nice diversion. Anyway, the wedding was okay. I do enjoy the food. I've had some great fish -- swordfish, prawns, cream of lobster soup -- pork cutlets, veal, cream of almond soup, all sorts of fun things. But it's still work. I was talking to Eva, the Swedish secretary at Miramar, and De today. Complaining about Spain. Eva had her hours cut from 8 to 4 hours a day. Not enough to live on, of course, but what can you do? Everyone seems to have money problems here. I've decided that I'll offer to stay on at work if they pay me $5/hour daily. If not, I'll leave the 15th. And if I'm not paid by the 15th, I'll strike again. So really, only 7 more days, because they probably won't accept my offer. It would be nice to earn a little extra money until October. Then I'd have money to travel. Maybe it will work out yet!
10:50 pm
¡Hola! What a funny sound. I'd like to write about it, but I have to hang the laundry. Oh shit, it can wait. I was in my apartment -- stoned -- when Annelies called up to ask if I wanted to get my laundry. (I use her washing machine.) So I went and visited with her and Corrine. Annelies is so funny! We were talking about jobs -- like always, it seems -- and Annelies said she doesn't have to worry about that now since the government pays her. So she just meditates. Then she launched into a story of a "yoga retreat" on a hill, 7 kilometers from any villages, where she spent a week. She felt locked in with a bunch of loonies -- but she couldn't leave for a week. What a great experience. Anyway, "hola" came from the greeting as I passed by Danny and Matilde on my way back home.
Cooking popcorn in extra virgin olive oil. Strange mixture of Spanish and American gastronomic cultures. Oh yeah. Annelies was talking about De's family pictures from Ireland. How they looked like the Bronte family -- and there was De in the middle. Dressed to the nines in fashionable turn-of-the-century Irish outerwear -- with perfectly tilted hats. And here, De parades around half-naked and "beasting" (as Corrine says.) But she still wears a rakish straw hat!
So much salt in this popcorn. And dry. I was thinking that De's tilted hat is a hint of the conservative background from which she comes. A throwback to the old ways. I wrote back to Ann and Ann. They're so great. I said I was thinking about gay/lesbian educational issues as a field to get into. Ann H. is such a traveler. She says her feet belong to gypsies. Yes! It sure is interesting to see who writes/calls and who doesn't. Very interesting. Revealing. My back hurts.
Orange juice and popcorn. Love it! The juice here sure is good. It's interesting to compare Spain to the U.S. The U.S. is more health-conscious. Here everyone smokes, they tend to use a lot of salt, drinking's a way of life. Although I do see a lot of joggers along the beach. And they certainly walk a lot more here. It's also interesting to see they have a Youth Sexual Orientation Center in Málaga, with the phone number listed along with police, Red Cross, etc. on page two of the local paper. They also just liberalized abortion laws now, when the U.S. is about to de-liberalize them. José says it's amazing how far Spain's progressed in just 16 years of democracy. Yes, it is. Considering the U.S. has had 216! Shouldn't we know better by now? They've separated church and state, relaxed morality laws, extended rights to former outcasts. Supposedly, Gorbachev had Spain in mind when he thought of how best to democratize his country. The government is still definitely ahead of the people, however. Old traditions die hard. Still a lot of machismo. Still a sense of country bumpkin. It may take another generation. A poll said 85% of Spanish youth do not disapprove of homosexuality. That's certainly hopeful!
I just had the song "Cherish" by the Association going through my head. I loved that song! And "Hooked on a Feeling." I also liked "I Woke Up in Love This Morning." Wasn't David Cassidy just dreamy? (Is Shirley Jones dead? I can't remember! I know Carolyn Jones is dead. But Shirley? No, I think her husband, Marty Adler died.)
I've really upset myself. During last year's travels I thought it would be great to videotape people's "stories." A variety of travelers. Well, dammit, they're all here an Málaga. I've got the equipment. I could make a documentary. Annelies is full of stories. And De. Dave and Gitta. Joel. Julian. Mitchell. It could work. Another potential multi-million dollar project. Maybe I need to go back to the states for a little boost in confidence, first. I need Jenny here to push me. Or anyone. Myself? I've really been brain-storming this idea. Let's see if it goes anywhere. I feel I'm on the brink...of something.
1:00 am
I'm really angry with myself. Why didn't I think of this earlier -- when I had the equipment and time? Now I've got a week or so. I'll have to come back. Or do it somewhere else. Travels. I want to concentrate on that. International people, too. Young, "Let's Go"-types. God, life can be exciting. I have to get Annelies to help me.
Saturday, September 5, 1992
2:40 am
Nice night. Went to Donde for a couple of hours. Saw Kasia and Gertrud, plus Manolo, Kiko and Kinny -- that cute, young stud from Madrid. And I met another cute German, although I was bummed that Tomas wasn't there. Kasia was talking about Oktoberfest. I'd love to go. But the money.... We'll see! I like these evenings when I "do it all." Except bring someone home with me!
Nice night. Went to Donde for a couple of hours. Saw Kasia and Gertrud, plus Manolo, Kiko and Kinny -- that cute, young stud from Madrid. And I met another cute German, although I was bummed that Tomas wasn't there. Kasia was talking about Oktoberfest. I'd love to go. But the money.... We'll see! I like these evenings when I "do it all." Except bring someone home with me!
Friday, September 4, 1992
12:00 mid
I am in bed. No late night tonight. Actually, I was just down visiting Annelies. We drank some wine, Matilde came by, they danced. Matilde told me I should look for work at a U.S. Army base near Cádiz. Elisabeth came by. I talked to Annelies' sister, Helene, on the phone, Annelies and I danced salsa, read a little of her Taoist book. I'd like to read more about Taoism. And Buddhism. I feel good about my life. María José came over for a English lesson. She'll ask around for potential students for me. I feel my spirit is being killed at work. I really hate it. I feel so worthless. Just 2 more weeks to hang on. If no money comes tomorrow, I'll have to withdraw from my credit card. I slept 3 hours this afternoon. I was so tired! I am pretty lucky. Good friends. Good life. Don't think so much...
10:20 am
You know, I've been reading this book, "Out of the Classroom Closet." Hmmm. Maybe I should go into educational consulting on gay/lesbian issues. There I go thinking again! So many caminos to choose from. I need to get away from video for awhile. I forgot to mention that in Puerto Banus the other night, I saw a guy with a Michigan State shirt, so I went over to say hi. He was from Italy. Didn't speak English. Had bought the shirt -- in Italy -- because he liked it. So much for meeting fellow Spartans here!
6:00 pm
I don't know if I've ever been so angry. But I'm tranquilo now. I didn't get paid again. I was supposed to get money -- $200 -- from a wedding I finished editing Monday. So I had to withdraw $200 from my VISA account. And Herbert was going to have Paco tape the wedding tomorrow, but couldn't reach him, so I have to do it. I told him it should have been arranged before today, but he had excuses about the phone not working.... such bullshit. Just hanging on until Sept. 15th. He said they discussed a contract for me last night. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'll play along for another 2 weeks. Assholes! I got another letter from Neil. Quick! Only took 6 days from San Francisco. He's so upbeat about life. Me too!
10:50 pm
Stoned again on a Friday night. I've been writing letters to Neil, Suzanne and Matt. Really enjoying it, too! But I do need (okay, I was going to write "...to go out tonight in an hour," and I thought what time is it? But it's only 11:00, not 12:00.) I still need to eat something and take a shower, though.
I am in bed. No late night tonight. Actually, I was just down visiting Annelies. We drank some wine, Matilde came by, they danced. Matilde told me I should look for work at a U.S. Army base near Cádiz. Elisabeth came by. I talked to Annelies' sister, Helene, on the phone, Annelies and I danced salsa, read a little of her Taoist book. I'd like to read more about Taoism. And Buddhism. I feel good about my life. María José came over for a English lesson. She'll ask around for potential students for me. I feel my spirit is being killed at work. I really hate it. I feel so worthless. Just 2 more weeks to hang on. If no money comes tomorrow, I'll have to withdraw from my credit card. I slept 3 hours this afternoon. I was so tired! I am pretty lucky. Good friends. Good life. Don't think so much...
10:20 am
You know, I've been reading this book, "Out of the Classroom Closet." Hmmm. Maybe I should go into educational consulting on gay/lesbian issues. There I go thinking again! So many caminos to choose from. I need to get away from video for awhile. I forgot to mention that in Puerto Banus the other night, I saw a guy with a Michigan State shirt, so I went over to say hi. He was from Italy. Didn't speak English. Had bought the shirt -- in Italy -- because he liked it. So much for meeting fellow Spartans here!
6:00 pm
I don't know if I've ever been so angry. But I'm tranquilo now. I didn't get paid again. I was supposed to get money -- $200 -- from a wedding I finished editing Monday. So I had to withdraw $200 from my VISA account. And Herbert was going to have Paco tape the wedding tomorrow, but couldn't reach him, so I have to do it. I told him it should have been arranged before today, but he had excuses about the phone not working.... such bullshit. Just hanging on until Sept. 15th. He said they discussed a contract for me last night. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'll play along for another 2 weeks. Assholes! I got another letter from Neil. Quick! Only took 6 days from San Francisco. He's so upbeat about life. Me too!
10:50 pm
Stoned again on a Friday night. I've been writing letters to Neil, Suzanne and Matt. Really enjoying it, too! But I do need (okay, I was going to write "...to go out tonight in an hour," and I thought what time is it? But it's only 11:00, not 12:00.) I still need to eat something and take a shower, though.
Thursday, September 3, 1992
2:45 am
Went to Puerto Banus tonight with Joel, Kasia and Helen (from Sweden - British Airways). It was nice. I had always wanted to go there. Very posh. Lambourghinis, Rollses, Porsches -- and the yachts! I wouldn't mind going there more often. Maybe I could "meet someone." Joel knows so many people. Yeah, he's got money. He said his uncle is the tennis coach for Yannick Noah. He mentioned that his sister has a huge yacht. He owns three cars, etc., etc. I really do hate the way he flaunts it. But he's good to hang around with. We spent the afternoon together, too. Went for a drink at the boat club. He made a point of talking (in French) real loud when he got a phone call. On the way to Puerto Banus, he called a friend. Had to play his car stereo LOUD! We looked at a BMW M3 and he argued with the salesman over the 4 million peseta ($40,000) price. But he's still pretty cute. And has lots of connections! So I'll stick around him. I think he got really pissed off at Kasia because she wanted to go home at 1:30. He had wanted to go to Oh Marbella. We went to a rather inexpensive Italian restaurant and then to a bar. I spent $38, but that included the girls' dinners. He's leaving tomorrow for a week again. Oh well. They didn't have the meeting at work on Tuesday. Mañana. But I stayed and edited a wedding anyway -- so we can collect the money from it. I'm thinking maybe I can hang on until Oct. 15th to earn more money. But, no. It's not worth it. They plan to move the office to Antequerra -- 150 km away -- in January. I've played along like I'll stay. But I won't. Must sleep now.
Went to Puerto Banus tonight with Joel, Kasia and Helen (from Sweden - British Airways). It was nice. I had always wanted to go there. Very posh. Lambourghinis, Rollses, Porsches -- and the yachts! I wouldn't mind going there more often. Maybe I could "meet someone." Joel knows so many people. Yeah, he's got money. He said his uncle is the tennis coach for Yannick Noah. He mentioned that his sister has a huge yacht. He owns three cars, etc., etc. I really do hate the way he flaunts it. But he's good to hang around with. We spent the afternoon together, too. Went for a drink at the boat club. He made a point of talking (in French) real loud when he got a phone call. On the way to Puerto Banus, he called a friend. Had to play his car stereo LOUD! We looked at a BMW M3 and he argued with the salesman over the 4 million peseta ($40,000) price. But he's still pretty cute. And has lots of connections! So I'll stick around him. I think he got really pissed off at Kasia because she wanted to go home at 1:30. He had wanted to go to Oh Marbella. We went to a rather inexpensive Italian restaurant and then to a bar. I spent $38, but that included the girls' dinners. He's leaving tomorrow for a week again. Oh well. They didn't have the meeting at work on Tuesday. Mañana. But I stayed and edited a wedding anyway -- so we can collect the money from it. I'm thinking maybe I can hang on until Oct. 15th to earn more money. But, no. It's not worth it. They plan to move the office to Antequerra -- 150 km away -- in January. I've played along like I'll stay. But I won't. Must sleep now.
Wednesday, September 2, 1992
3:25 am
Fun Night! I went to the welcoming party at Club Hispanico. Talked quite a bit with María José. Then Joel showed up. We talked for a long time with Julian. They are both very interesting. And both have some pesetas stashed away. They were talking about importing cars, buying bars, going to Japan -- you name it. Good company I'm keeping! Then we went to Bolivia (on Joel's motorcycle) where we saw Kasia, Tomas and others. Met a Swedish girl, Helen, who looks like Meryl Streep, and works for British Airways. So Joel suggested that we all go to Marbella tomorrow. What the fuck. So I'll be poor! We went to Donde and danced a lot! Tomas is so cute. Must pursue! He's only here another 1 1/2 weeks! A good night.
Fun Night! I went to the welcoming party at Club Hispanico. Talked quite a bit with María José. Then Joel showed up. We talked for a long time with Julian. They are both very interesting. And both have some pesetas stashed away. They were talking about importing cars, buying bars, going to Japan -- you name it. Good company I'm keeping! Then we went to Bolivia (on Joel's motorcycle) where we saw Kasia, Tomas and others. Met a Swedish girl, Helen, who looks like Meryl Streep, and works for British Airways. So Joel suggested that we all go to Marbella tomorrow. What the fuck. So I'll be poor! We went to Donde and danced a lot! Tomas is so cute. Must pursue! He's only here another 1 1/2 weeks! A good night.
Tuesday, September 1, 1992
12:15 am
I probably shouldn't have smoked. I have to get myself up and out to the bar. I do love reading my journal. I could cultivate some good stories from it and publish them. Not the whole thing -- some things are so embarrassing!
1:40 am
"On no, I drank too much..." I haven't drunk enough..." to the tune of "Losing My Religion." Actually, I didn't drink a lot, but that song was on my mind. I have to listen to it NOW!
Okay, so I'm listening to "Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead" first. I love jamming to music in my headphones. So. I saw Joel. We talked for an hour. Still can't figure him out. (I know. This sounds just like what I've written for 15 years!) Annelies thinks he's bi-sexual. And he did want to see me tomorrow. He offered to take Kasia and me to his tennis club to play. Then he asked if I wanted to go to Club Hispanico with him for their welcoming party. But he also mentioned that we should find a couple of dates and go to Marbella sometime. Floating along...
12:45 pm
Had breakfast with Annelies this morning. I think I could like not working! She told me how torn she is about her boyfriend, Manolo. I told her it's very natural. God knows I've gone through a lot of gut-wrenching emotions with guys in the past. It's nice to have someone to share emotions with.
I probably shouldn't have smoked. I have to get myself up and out to the bar. I do love reading my journal. I could cultivate some good stories from it and publish them. Not the whole thing -- some things are so embarrassing!
1:40 am
"On no, I drank too much..." I haven't drunk enough..." to the tune of "Losing My Religion." Actually, I didn't drink a lot, but that song was on my mind. I have to listen to it NOW!
Okay, so I'm listening to "Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead" first. I love jamming to music in my headphones. So. I saw Joel. We talked for an hour. Still can't figure him out. (I know. This sounds just like what I've written for 15 years!) Annelies thinks he's bi-sexual. And he did want to see me tomorrow. He offered to take Kasia and me to his tennis club to play. Then he asked if I wanted to go to Club Hispanico with him for their welcoming party. But he also mentioned that we should find a couple of dates and go to Marbella sometime. Floating along...
12:45 pm
Had breakfast with Annelies this morning. I think I could like not working! She told me how torn she is about her boyfriend, Manolo. I told her it's very natural. God knows I've gone through a lot of gut-wrenching emotions with guys in the past. It's nice to have someone to share emotions with.
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