Tuesday, August 4, 1992

12:15 am

A very pensive day. Didn't accomplish much at work. Still feeling very unsure of the situation there. Pedro and Carmen came in with the video they wanted altered. It wasn't so bad. Only a few minor changes. Paco came in to get his money and we complained about the company. I saw the Dutch guy at Aldi today. But I didn't call to him. I don't know his name, remember?? I thought he and Gitta were coming over tonight, but they didn't. Now I need to go to Donde and hope he's there. I visited Kiko and Danny downstairs a bit tonight. Got a bit high with the guys. Kiko says I need to get a boyfriend. I have the feeling that Rafa's ready. Why am I not? Always pursuing the impossible dream rather than looking what's in front of me. Story of my life, ¿no? Roller-coaster emotions day. And hot, hot, hot! I wrote to Antonio in Barcelona. I hope he responds. I've been reading Time magazine and USA Today. Maybe I shouldn't. Makes me yearn for the USA. Bueno, I'm going out for a while. I was going to wear shorts, but I should probably wear jeans. Don't like that.


10:30 pm

I never did see my "fantasy lover" again last night. He wasn't at the bar. Gitta said he was leaving early in the morning. She had gone out to dinner with Christiana. Too bad he didn't find out where I lived and come up by himself. Would've been nice. I went to Bolivia for a few minutes only. Too damn hot. I didn't have to work this afternoon again. I like these short days. And Herbert says I'll still be paid, but I have my doubts. I had a nice talk with Gitta. She's so nice to talk to. We talked about the uncertainty of the future, disappointment with the present, living for yourself and not trying to live up to expectations. She said if I feel like going back to Detroit in November, I should go! Don't worry about outside forces. I've been getting away from "Just Do It." Carpe Diem.