5:40 pm

Boing. Down again. And I had even been mildly up yesterday. Didn't have to work in the afternoon, so I went to Torreblanca. Went to the beach -- the water is so clean there, and the beach is less crowded. Even managed to scope out a couple of guys. Then I visited Dave and Gitta in Torreblanca. It was busy and very hot, but nice. I met this guy, John, who works props for films here in Spain. We had a nice talk about politics and music and such. I need friends like that. God, I should move down the coast. I think I'd be happier. After running to catch the last train -- like always -- I ended up back home at 12:30 am and I showered and ate. Then Annelies came by for a visit. I was 1 1/2 hour late meeting Gitta at Bolivia, but we sat and talked and talked. Then we went to Donde and danced and danced. I'm so glad I wore my shorts! I guess I was pretty drunk by the time I got home at 4:00 am.

I almost didn't make it into work today, but I managed. But that's when it started. God, I hate my job. I want something where I don't have to think! And it's so damn hot! So I started thinking again about quitting and finding something else. (Sounds easy!) And thinking about Bob. The part that got me really down was when he said he's been dating a few guys. I really didn't need to hear that right now. It really sent my emotions into a tailspin. Once again, I wonder what the hell I'm doing here. Unstable emotions. You know, I've been thinking -- again -- of writing Dad's story. Or Maude's story. I told Gitta the story of Maude and my travels last night. Got me excited again about that. About travel. About feeling alive!!