2:30 am

Man, I don't know about the future, but the present is pretty damn interesting! I ran into Joel at Bolivia tonight. We talked all night. He says there's a position open at Canal Sur and he'll talk to them about me tomorrow. Wot? Shit! It's that fast-moving train again. But what I hate is being artificial. I feel I have to "play the game" to see what might develop. He's such a materialistic person. Telling me that he pays $2000/month for his house, taking me home on his mother-fucker motorcycle. He asked if I'd be in Bolivia tomorrow night. I really hadn't planned to, but now I will be there, I'm sure. Play the game. Gotta do it. But I hate it!

9:45 pm

Reflections. Topsy-turvy are my feelings. I suppose it’s a result of both being Monday and Andre leaving. It has been a nice 3 weeks with visitors here. But I’ve also missed my “quiet times” like now. Time to reflect. To think. To dream. To explore myself. To listen to “They Might be Giants.” I need to write some letters. Matt told me that Karen’s brother died. How horrible. I couldn’t help thinking of her mother. To have a child die must be the worst thing. I’d rather write than call. Calling’s so emotional. I have to write Neil, too. He’s such a special person. I miss him! His letter really put me more at ease. He talked about fulfilling my dreams and getting yourself right with things before entering a relationship. How true. So I’m not as freaked out.