Thursday, May 7, 1992

8:30 pm

Allow me to whine a bit. I'm enjoying going into work every day, although I am getting a bit tired of the Communions and I'd rather be lazy and stay in bed or go to the beach. I'm frustrated by not understanding the language better. I keep getting phone calls at work and I can't understand what people are saying! I start to think that I should give up on the dream. But then I listen to the "Chariots of Fire" soundtrack and I get inspired. And I meet someone new -- in this case a Scottish friend of French Frank's -- and I bounce back again. I did really well with money in April. Only $800, including $100 at Expo. Gives me hope. May will be at least $1500, I'm sure, with Bob visiting and $400 rent. But I've earned almost $400 this past week. Cool! I hope Mitchell will pay me more than $10/hour for editing. We had talked of $20/hour, but I don't think he'll go for that much. At $15/hour it would be almost $500. Still nothing settled. Always up in the air. Always something to whine about. Like the lack of permanent friends here. I get so worried about the future! Can't I just enjoy the present? I booked my flight home. I'll be there June 17th. I wish I could've been back before school's out, but it's not possible. I need to find a place to live for July. And beyond. I haven't seen Yop or the Dutch girls in a while. I need to write Andre. It'll be nice having a phone (at work.) People can call me! I have a TV now -- everything's green, but I watched ABC News yesterday. Civilization! I think I need to work hard and earn a lot of money and then travel for a year. Yes! It must be done! It's truly what I enjoy. Oh! Yesterday, Mitchell told me about his idea of producing promo videos for travel agencies. Exactly my idea! And he has a friend in the business who wants to do it. Yes, I think I need to stay with this job. Just get through the bumpy times, Mike. Write down your thoughts and it will become clearer. This is where you belong right now.