3:50 pm

I know I shouldn't let things get to me. But I'm not so thick-skinned. Yesterday, I was talking to Elisabeth about the future. I said that I have no idea what I'll do. One day I think one thing, the next, another. I said I plan to stay here until April or May and go back to the States and take classes for a Master's in the fall. But, I added, ask me tomorrow and things may have changed. Today, after getting frustrated again at work, I want to run away again. I think that I'm wasting my life here. I'm struggling financially, socially, professionally. If I were offered my job back at Bloomfield Hills, I'd take it. I know I have to stick it out. I am learning Spanish. Slowly.


11:30 pm

This is my life. I'm sleeping on an "army cot." All my possessions in an apartment the size of a dorm room. The shower is so small that my back rubs against the shower curtain because of the placement of the hot water tank on the wall. I have to turn it on 20 minutes before I take a shower so it'll be warm enough. And, of course, water goes everywhere. I have to mop up after every shower! And the sink leaks. I have to tell the manager. How do you say that in Spanish? The stove was acting up this morning. Gas kinda exploded when I lit the burner. Endearing qualities of this place. I sleep with a can of Raid by my bed. They've never heard of screens here.

Elisabeth brought me some marijuana leaves from María. How fun! Yes, I feel okay now, but it's only after a couple of glasses of red, red wine. Makes me forget. I managed to write a few more postcards and letters. Over 30 so far! I do have a lot of friends. And I am thankful for that. And yet, I feel very lonely. Strange life. But I live strange. It's so hot tonight. I took a cool shower, but I don't know if I'll be able to sleep. I've been sleeping with wet towels - literally. I want to work early tomorrow to beat the heat. It was hell from 4:30 - 8:00 pm today. ¡Que calor! What an experience life is! Choose wisely. Don't be afraid to change your mind, though. Every day, every person, is an adventure. ¡Solamente hazlo!