Tuesday, April 21, 1992

10:45 pm

¡¡Tengo un trabajo!! ¡Estoy tan excitado! No puedo creerlo. I talked to the second socio of this new video production company. He speaks English -- yea! He's German. They already have all this work lined up. Weddings, First Communions. Starting May 1st! We didn't talk sueldo yet because he wants all three partners to be there. But he said he hasn't found anyone else with video experience. Ch-Ching! They need me! I don't know how many hours I'll be working, either, but he sounded like they have a lot of work already waiting. It will be perfect. I even told him that I have a friend coming in May and I can try to get him to work here, too. Bob! In Spain! Conmigo! So this means I'm not going to Detroit next week. Maybe at the end of June. Again, things change so quickly! Talk about flexibility! I talked to Bob for 20 minutes last night. I'm so looking forward to seeing him. He didn't get the Oakland job. Now he's free to move here. I hope he's serious about moving here. Life would be complete! Shit! My life is a dream -- come true! I kept thinking that I need to be cautious. Don't be too excited yet. But now, sí! How much money I can make is the remaining question. But, of course, there are possibilities at Alhambra todavía. Yo puedo trabajar dos trabajos. ¡Hay tantas posibilidades! Now Yop can move in here, too. Life is a peach.

Monday, April 20, 1992

2:40 pm

Yop, Yop, Yop. Like a dog. Anyway, he stopped over last night after he went to the corrida. That was nice of him. The two Dutch girls had stopped by, too. We had a nice talk. But then they wanted to go to Bolivia and I didn't. Yop lagged behind when the girls left and we talked for another 30 minutes. He finally left when Elke and Dirk went also. Darn. Almost had him here all alone. I really think that he's curious and might want something to happen between us. I sure do. We talked more about possibly living together. ¡Aproveche! I'm still feeling very useless today. Without a purpose in life. I'll call Bob tonight. I'm really thinking that maybe he could move here if things work out with this job. I could support both of us for a little while! Why not? It would be perfect! I was supposed to call María José yesterday, but didn't. I'm losing any edge that I may have had. I'm lately content to lie on the beach and do nothing!

Sunday, April 19, 1992

4:00 am

Oh, I wish Bob were here! No, I'm not just saying that because I'm borracho or because nothing happened between me and Yop. I really wish he were here. It's going to be awfully hard when he is here, realizing that he won't be staying. We need to be together. There's no doubt in my mind. I wish Yop and I had ended up together tonight. It would've been nice. There's still potential for the future. Although he was asking about Gitta all night. Of course, I haven't told her that he's been talking about her. I'm so damn jealous! I'm drunk and/or stoned. Yop and his Dutch girls came over. Yop and I got stoned. Elke, Dirk and I had been talking about life/fate/etc. before. It was nice. This terrace has seen many an intellectual discussion! It just hasn't seen a romantic encounter between me and a cute Dutch guy. Yet! We went to Mesalina to dance. It was fun. House music. I'm too drunk to sleep now. I only had one beer out -- and a half-bottle of red wine here before. Shit. I can't believe it's almost 5:00 and I haven't had that much fun tonight. I did dance with Yop quite a bit. I enjoyed it. Did he? ¡Vale!

Saturday, April 18, 1992

6:30 pm

Believe it or not, I had to get out of the sun today. It's the first time I've felt I had too much sun. So now I'm on my terrace. I've been feeling a little lonely today. Didn't try to talk to anyone at the beach. Don't know why not. I hate when I lose the security of "the girls." They weren't there. Then I walked to El Palo to find them or Yop, but didn't find anyone. Last night I spent most of the time with Yop, Sanna and Ingra. Ran into Katerina Pois at Salsa. When we were at Havana, I was bored and told Yop that I was going to another dance bar nearby. He said, "I go with you." Then I told him it was a gay bar and he said, "I stay here." When I came back -- it was closed, dammit -- Sanna asked why I wanted to go to a gay bar. More coming out. We danced a lot. Especially Yop and I. After the girls left, I thought maybe we could walk home together, but the British/Indian traveler guy and his Finnish friend wanted to go with us, so we got a taxi. But Yop said he wanted to get high with me tonight before we go out. Too cool. I'd rather get high late when we'll be dancing more, but it'll have to do. Of course, I'm thinking maybe we'll just stay here and get romantic. But Elke and Dirk will probably be here and we're supposed to meet people at 11:30 at Bolivia. Vamos a ver. He did ask me this after he found out about the gay bar. He may be interested. I hope I'm not disappointed if things don't work out between us. Hell, Mike! Whine! I just want things to be perfect all the time! We're still talking about living together, too. I think I'd like that. Need to talk to my landlady Vittorina about the availability of this place. Spending too much money going out.

Friday, April 17, 1992


4:00 pm

Ay! Semana Santa! I went out with the new Alhambra gang last night. Met some nice girls. Yes, all girls once again. But we did have fun. Danced at several discos. Drank a lot. I persuaded everyone to go to Havana at 5:00. I was hoping to see Yop there, but he wasn't there. Why am I becoming obsessed with him? I guess I need a constant obsession. And Bob is just too far away. So I may have a job! I talked with this guy from the ad I responded to last week. He's starting a video production company and needs someone who has video experience. Perfect. I'll meet with him and his partners on Tuesday. It looks really good! But, of course, I'm cautious until I know more. Joaquin was out with us last night and when he introduced himself to my friends, he said that I work with him! How strange. Yes, Mike, something will work out! I talked to Jane. We'll meet in Sevilla next Wednesday. Cool. I'm still planning to go to Detroit in two weeks. Cool 2. Sitting in the sun on the terrace today. The beach is too windy. I don't know if I'll stay out late again tonight.

Wednesday, April 15, 1992

12:10 am

Yea, I'm stoned. Been a while. Yop and I talked last night about smoking weed. I'll have to invite him over here Friday night to get stoned before we go out. Or after we go out. Then we'd be alone for the rest of the night. Up on the terrace smoking, getting romantic. Sounds good to me. I don't want Barbara and Gitta to be there, though. Barbara and I talked about drugs today, too. She's in favor of legalizing all drugs. She really surprises me sometimes. She's a really neat person. We'll have to get high some time, too. I'm listening to a jazz program on the radio. I love it. All music is great when you're stoned. I miss Neil right now. He'd love to get high with me up on my terrace overlooking the Mediterranean. Why didn't it work out between Neil and me? Gosh, Mike, it's been 1 1/2 years. That was a fantastic summer with Neil. Actually, it was this past summer when we got stoned on my back deck. We never did get stoned when we were dating. Why not? Oh, I'm seeing a great vision. Bob getting the job in Oakland. Me moving there with him. Neil being a neighbor. We'd have a great deck up on a hill -- a nice view of the ocean. We could get stoned there. I miss Neil! ¡Ojalá! Maybe the dream will come true. I want all my friends to be together forever. Not just Neil and Bob, but my friends from school, Affirmations, from here in Spain. I want them all to stay with me forever. What, am I feeling lonely here? Not really. I'm just enjoying the stream of consciousness. In many ways getting stoned alone is much better than with others. You can record things. You can be so into things. I'm enjoying this jazz, but I'm thinking I should listen to a station with Spanish songs. I think I could learn more words now if I listened. I'd be so in tune. You know, I don't seem to have the same concentration -- no, it's not that, it's "filtration" -- problem with my hearing when I'm high. Another medical use for pot. But really, folks, I have a serious hearing problem in bars. I can never hear the person talking to me. My ears are so distracted. Not just once in a while, when the music is really loud. All the time. Even when someone's close to me and there's a TV on nearby. It happened when talking with María José at Pepe's or at Havana talking to Estefan and Katherine. I wonder if something can be done to help it. Damn. I don't have any insurance anymore. I really am understanding this person speaking Spanish on the radio even though I'm not really concentrating on it. I love the way Andre and Yop show something's really good by kissing the tips of their fingers. They both do it all the time. It's a Dutch thing, I guess. Although it seems French, too. Different customs. Thumbs up. OK sign. I do the OK sign when I signify something really good. How about that? I wonder if Andre or Yop have noticed that and are writing it in their journal. Yea. I love being stoned. But it's still never care-free. I'm thinking I should call Jane before I go to bed. But I have no desire to get dressed and go out to the phone box and call. For one thing, I'm too stoned now, and it's still early -- only 6:30 pm -- there. But I'll be so tired later. I'll just want to go to bed. I was out rather late/early last night. But I need to talk to her! Let's not worry 'bout it right now, 'k? I just re-read the letter from Antonio in Barcelona. I can't believe I haven't written him since I've been here. I'd do it now, but I'm enjoying writing this. But I'm stopping for now.


1:30 am

I'm back. I tried calling Jane, but she wasn't home. Told her to call me tomorrow. I'm not really tired, but I should go to bed. I was going to go to the airport tomorrow and book a flight for the 30th, but maybe I should wait until Monday. See if I hear from this job prospect. I don't know where I'll be living when I come back. The rents are supposed to go to $1000/month in June. I may need to find a place in the center. Inconvenient for work and the beach, but cheaper. I could ride my bike into Pedregalejo. Not so bad. I get all these fantastic images in my head of how my life might be in the future. That's fun. Actually, the life I lead now is a former dream of the future, isn't it? And the dream came true! On the terrace overlooking the sea. I'm going to miss this place! I should take pictures tomorrow. "I go home. Gonna eat somefing." -- Andre.

Tuesday, April 14, 1992


4:00 pm

The past two days have been rather relaxing. Just sitting in the sun on my terrace. Not doing a thing, really. Yesterday, I talked to Bob. I miss him more every time I talk to him. We're trying to finalize his plans for visiting. I'm now 99% sure that I'm going to Detroit in 2 weeks! It'll be nice. Joaquin told me we can start in June, but only part-time. We'll see if it's worth it. Of course, I could teach English on the side, too. Or pursue my video free-lance ideas. What, me worry? Last night I decided to go to the centro alone to see the Semana Santa processions. I ran into Yop, Katherine and others from Miramar. We wandered around for a while, then went to a few bars. Several, actually. A few discos, too. Then to Salsa and finally Havana. I had been ready to go home at 2:00, but we didn't. Katherine knew the bartender, Estefan, at Havana, so he gave us free drinks! Then it started to pick up, so we danced and danced -- until 7:00. Then we went out for chocolate y churros. It was really quite fun! I stopped by Gitta and Barbara's as they were leaving for school at 8:30 am. I love when I have unexpected adventures like that! I met several new people, too. Yea! I'm thinking of going again tonight. Coming home early, of course. Actually, I can't afford to drink every night. I do enjoy partying with Yop, though. I saw Dave and Gitta Sunday night. They're such nice people. I hope things work out for them. Hey, I managed to write this without mentioning Andre. Almost!