10:00 pm

Stoned again, naturally. Stoned Alone! The current films playing in my mind. I got stoned with Herbert at work. Not "out of your mind" stoned. But enough. He's a really interesting guy. He's from Uruguay. He's a drummer in a jazz band. Lives down the coast in Marbella. I think he's a friend of Jesús Gil, the politician. Seems like there's a lot of past lives in him. Anyway, I wish I could talk to him more. So much of what he says to me I miss. I got paid today. Only $800, not $1400. I'll have to fight for that money. It's what we agreed to. Herbert says I'll get paid $800/month at most. I'll have to think about finding other work. I was so depressed today. I want to get out of Spain. Don't know where I'll go exactly. I called Matt today, while stoned. I said, "Matt, I'm stoned!" He whispered, "I'm at work!" I said, "That's the best part, so am I!" I miss having my friends to hang out with. Lonely, lonely. Yeah, I'm in Spain. So what? I'm not with my friends! Wait a minute. I think Herbert told me that one month out of the year, he does nothing but sit and smoke 3/4 kilo of pot. Now, I did some rough calculations. Is that an ounce a day? He sounds like he has a good life. // I'm reading about such fun things, such as (I think) John Sununu getting booed off the Democratic Convention floor while working for CNN. Funny stuff. People seem to think the Dems have a chance. The party's over for George Bush. They have been, of course, going directly to the center with the platform. Don't rock no boats now! But, they need to do what they need to do to get elected. Then they can change their minds like all good politicians.

GOD, I LOVE MUSIC! I have Laurie Anderson in my ears! I haven't really jammed with my music much yet. I still don't have batteries for the speakers I bought for the CD player. I've been using the little speakers, but now I have the headphones on! Great. I'm sitting on the terrace. This should be paradise, Mike. You can make it paradise, y'know. You just have to "get back in there, boy!" Experience life. Remember Maude! Oh, yeah! That's right. Donna had asked me if I were able to contact her. She said that Maude would love to know what I'm doing. True. I wish I could contact her. Man, you can hear so much more music when you have speakers in your ears. Or when you're stoned. But BOTH is almost musical overload! I probably shouldn't have it on so loud. My ears are bad enough already.

Shit. I could be in Minneapolis tomorrow night picking up the NFLCP award for BHC. But that's half-a-world and a lifetime away from me now. Sad in a way. "What next, Big Sky?" I know a lot of people envy me. But they don't know about the down side. The lonely times. The frustrating time!