2:00 pm

Just when life is chugging along toward perfection -- a derailment. Yop is moving somewhere else. So now I need to find another roommate or make a big move to a permanent apartment. I don't want to give up the beachfront terrace yet, though. And I'd like to see how the job goes before I decide where to live for good. It would've been nice with Yop here, but it probably would've been frustrating, too. He's not gay, Mike. Last night I was feeling lonely. I need to find more friends. Permanent friends. I went with Annelies to some Spanish bars and even met a couple of her friends. But they're a bit too tranquilo for me. I need some gay friends. Gitta's leaving at the end of the week. Barbara's got a boyfriend. Yes, I have friends, but not real close friends. I saw Mitchell yesterday. This job sounds so promising. He wants me to work next Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I suggested a minimum of $10/hour. I think he was expecting to pay more. Tomorrow we'll try to finalize money matters, but I think I'll be making very good money! Maybe $20/hour for editing. Maybe it'll be good enough to convince Bob to move here. Dammit. I hope he's really thinking about it seriously. He's probably not. Once he gets here, how could he refuse this lifestyle? I really want to be serious about a life together. I'm trying to bounce back from this depression over Yop last night. Another 4 weeks before Bob's here! Too long. I'll call him again today.

1:15 pm

Sevilla -- una maravilla. Jane and I had a riot in Sevilla at the Expo. It was so fantastic! So many things to do, places to see, cultures to learn about. What a shame we had only one day. Bob and I will have to go back for at least 2 days. So many fantastic multi-media presentations, too. Now I'm thinking I should have tried to get a job there. It would have been an incredible six months! I'll have to be content to visit several times. We stayed out fairly late Wednesday night at a cafe near the cathedral -- my favorite spot in Sevilla. Then Thursday was Expo. We spent 12 hours at the pavilions, but only saw a few -- Australia, France, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Hungary, Spain, Valencia and Telecommunications. At night, we met Bek and partied at the Kangaroo Pub -- lot of fun. Jane slam-dancing with shopping bags in hand. On Friday we came to Málaga and spent the day along the beach front, meeting many of my friends I do have here. Never did find Yop, though. Last night, Jane was sick, so I didn't get to show her my town. Oh well. We had a pretty good time together, nonetheless. I hope she hooked up with her tour in Granada all right. I love visitors, but I hate to see them leave. That's hard. I need to get Bob to seriously think about moving here. I was supposed to se Mitchell yesterday, but couldn't get ahold of him. Frustrating delays again. I'll call him today. And María José. I need to get together with her, too. I really need Yop to move in here. I get so lonely by myself, even if it's not for long. I got the greatest letter from Dianne Sonnefeld. She told me I am a frolicking otter She is so fun. I love my friends.

10:45 pm

¡¡Tengo un trabajo!! ¡Estoy tan excitado! No puedo creerlo. I talked to the second socio of this new video production company. He speaks English -- yea! He's German. They already have all this work lined up. Weddings, First Communions. Starting May 1st! We didn't talk sueldo yet because he wants all three partners to be there. But he said he hasn't found anyone else with video experience. Ch-Ching! They need me! I don't know how many hours I'll be working, either, but he sounded like they have a lot of work already waiting. It will be perfect. I even told him that I have a friend coming in May and I can try to get him to work here, too. Bob! In Spain! Conmigo! So this means I'm not going to Detroit next week. Maybe at the end of June. Again, things change so quickly! Talk about flexibility! I talked to Bob for 20 minutes last night. I'm so looking forward to seeing him. He didn't get the Oakland job. Now he's free to move here. I hope he's serious about moving here. Life would be complete! Shit! My life is a dream -- come true! I kept thinking that I need to be cautious. Don't be too excited yet. But now, sí! How much money I can make is the remaining question. But, of course, there are possibilities at Alhambra todavía. Yo puedo trabajar dos trabajos. ¡Hay tantas posibilidades! Now Yop can move in here, too. Life is a peach.

2:40 pm

Yop, Yop, Yop. Like a dog. Anyway, he stopped over last night after he went to the corrida. That was nice of him. The two Dutch girls had stopped by, too. We had a nice talk. But then they wanted to go to Bolivia and I didn't. Yop lagged behind when the girls left and we talked for another 30 minutes. He finally left when Elke and Dirk went also. Darn. Almost had him here all alone. I really think that he's curious and might want something to happen between us. I sure do. We talked more about possibly living together. ¡Aproveche! I'm still feeling very useless today. Without a purpose in life. I'll call Bob tonight. I'm really thinking that maybe he could move here if things work out with this job. I could support both of us for a little while! Why not? It would be perfect! I was supposed to call María José yesterday, but didn't. I'm losing any edge that I may have had. I'm lately content to lie on the beach and do nothing!

4:00 am

Oh, I wish Bob were here! No, I'm not just saying that because I'm borracho or because nothing happened between me and Yop. I really wish he were here. It's going to be awfully hard when he is here, realizing that he won't be staying. We need to be together. There's no doubt in my mind. I wish Yop and I had ended up together tonight. It would've been nice. There's still potential for the future. Although he was asking about Gitta all night. Of course, I haven't told her that he's been talking about her. I'm so damn jealous! I'm drunk and/or stoned. Yop and his Dutch girls came over. Yop and I got stoned. Elke, Dirk and I had been talking about life/fate/etc. before. It was nice. This terrace has seen many an intellectual discussion! It just hasn't seen a romantic encounter between me and a cute Dutch guy. Yet! We went to Mesalina to dance. It was fun. House music. I'm too drunk to sleep now. I only had one beer out -- and a half-bottle of red wine here before. Shit. I can't believe it's almost 5:00 and I haven't had that much fun tonight. I did dance with Yop quite a bit. I enjoyed it. Did he? ¡Vale!

6:30 pm

Believe it or not, I had to get out of the sun today. It's the first time I've felt I had too much sun. So now I'm on my terrace. I've been feeling a little lonely today. Didn't try to talk to anyone at the beach. Don't know why not. I hate when I lose the security of "the girls." They weren't there. Then I walked to El Palo to find them or Yop, but didn't find anyone. Last night I spent most of the time with Yop, Sanna and Ingra. Ran into Katerina Pois at Salsa. When we were at Havana, I was bored and told Yop that I was going to another dance bar nearby. He said, "I go with you." Then I told him it was a gay bar and he said, "I stay here." When I came back -- it was closed, dammit -- Sanna asked why I wanted to go to a gay bar. More coming out. We danced a lot. Especially Yop and I. After the girls left, I thought maybe we could walk home together, but the British/Indian traveler guy and his Finnish friend wanted to go with us, so we got a taxi. But Yop said he wanted to get high with me tonight before we go out. Too cool. I'd rather get high late when we'll be dancing more, but it'll have to do. Of course, I'm thinking maybe we'll just stay here and get romantic. But Elke and Dirk will probably be here and we're supposed to meet people at 11:30 at Bolivia. Vamos a ver. He did ask me this after he found out about the gay bar. He may be interested. I hope I'm not disappointed if things don't work out between us. Hell, Mike! Whine! I just want things to be perfect all the time! We're still talking about living together, too. I think I'd like that. Need to talk to my landlady Vittorina about the availability of this place. Spending too much money going out.

4:00 pm

Ay! Semana Santa! I went out with the new Alhambra gang last night. Met some nice girls. Yes, all girls once again. But we did have fun. Danced at several discos. Drank a lot. I persuaded everyone to go to Havana at 5:00. I was hoping to see Yop there, but he wasn't there. Why am I becoming obsessed with him? I guess I need a constant obsession. And Bob is just too far away. So I may have a job! I talked with this guy from the ad I responded to last week. He's starting a video production company and needs someone who has video experience. Perfect. I'll meet with him and his partners on Tuesday. It looks really good! But, of course, I'm cautious until I know more. Joaquin was out with us last night and when he introduced himself to my friends, he said that I work with him! How strange. Yes, Mike, something will work out! I talked to Jane. We'll meet in Sevilla next Wednesday. Cool. I'm still planning to go to Detroit in two weeks. Cool 2. Sitting in the sun on the terrace today. The beach is too windy. I don't know if I'll stay out late again tonight.