10:30 pm

Work went well today. It was exhausting. It felt good. We did three Communions. Pretty boring, really, but it all seemed to come out well. You know, if Mitchell didn't speak English, I'd be totally lost. As it is, I don't understand most of what Bernardo says. Very frustrating. But am I studying? Am I speaking with Spanish friends or neighbors? Of course not. I came home and slept for 4 hours this afternoon. I'm staying in tonight. I have to be up at 7:15 tomorrow. Only 2 Communions, though. I'm making money in Spain! A great day! I'm frustrated again by lack of information. There were riots in Los Angeles, a matador was killed in the Feria de Sevilla. I'm buying a television when I come back in July. I've been planning a tentative itinerary for Bob and me. I'm now thinking of flying to Detroit the same day he does -- June 7th. Have to work out the details. Mercedes gave me a lift to work yesterday. That was nice. I guess I do know people around here She's so funny. Annelies stopped by last night. I'd like to be friends with her, but she really is pretty boring, isn't she? But then, sometimes I am, too!

3:00 pm

I don't know if my body can handle this shit. Alton, Sune and I went to see "El Cabo del Miedo" last night. Terribly suspenseful -- even in Spanish. Then we went to Donde where my Swedish neighbor was playing and also a salsa band played. They had free champagne. The bartenders were spraying it all over everyone all night long. Una locura. Just madness. But, of course, fun. Didn't get home until after 5:00 am. Didn't feel so good when I got up, but I'm better now. I still am not meeting new people. Or even getting to know the old people better. Saw Cameron again, but didn't talk to him. I should. He doesn't really have any friends. Potential! The weather's damn perfect again. This evening, Mitchell and I are doing a site-survey at the church. We have 3 First Communions tomorrow, 2 on Saturday and 2 on Sunday. Yea! I need to earn money. And I need a change of pace. I saw Yop again yesterday. He may not go to Torremolinos to work this summer. So maybe he and I could live together from July on. He's really doing a lot with his Spanish friends. He meets people so easily. Gitta asked me yesterday if Bob was "just a friend" and I said no. Later on, she was teasing me about wanting to get my hair cut "for him." It's too bad she's leaving next week! Barbara's been meeting new men every night. I'm so jealous! I think I need to stay in tonight, although I keep thinking I should go to the gay bar. Aw, shit. Marcus -- the Swedish cyclist -- and I talked a lot about being lonely and how it's good for you. I'm not sure I remember why it's good for you! I was thinking today of going back to Detroit. Now I have to wait, wait, wait. For Bob. For Detroit.

4:00 pm

Yea! It's cloudy today! I've really gotten sick of the sun. Perhaps literally. That may be why I was sick on Monday. Too much sun. Yesterday, Alton, Barbara and I rented a paddleboat and went out on the Mediterranean. It was a wonderful change of pace. Very relaxing. I can't wait to go out there with Bob. How romantic! Last night, we had a little party for Elke's last night. Then we went to Bolivia and Donde. I actually had a good time. Talked a lot with Antonella, Jeanette (#2), Alton, Sune and Annelies. She invited me to go to a flamenco bar with her, but I didn't go. Eventually, I will have to do things with Spanish people! But last night I was having a good time there. For a change. I think Alton and I can be good friends. If he didn't talk about girls all the time. Their cute roommate, Cameron, is leaving soon. I think I missed the boat not getting to know him better. Today, I've been cleaning and enjoying the sounds of Spain. The fish seller in the morning. The little Swedish kids were imitating him yelling at the tops of their lungs. Their father playing music on his guitar. I had plans to write lots of letters today, but I haven't. Lazy, lazy. I think I'll ask around if anyone wants to go to a movie tonight.

1:30 am

Just talked to Bob. Sigh. Still another 4 weeks before he's here. We talked a little about him moving here. I now think he's at least half-seriously considering it. That's good. Being here will be the clincher! Anticipation. Life creeps toward perfection. I talked more with Mitchell today. We agreed on $10/hour for videotaping and I suggested $20/hour for editing. That would be okay, although I think it would be only 30 hours/week at most. $450/week would be okay. I had a nice talk tonight with Marcus -- the Swedish cyclist who's staying here. We talked a lot about education. Waldorf-Steiner stuff. Model High School stuff. He talked about architecture. I talked about video. Alton joined us for a while and we talked about Expo and travel. We're going to try to rent a boat tomorrow. That would be cool. I've got to be careful about money until I get paid. Especially if I have to pay $650 for rent through June 15th!

5:00 pm

¡Basta! I'm sick of my whining. You, too? Things have worked out fine so far. They'll be okay in the future, too. I'm sure I'll be able to find someone to rent this place with me. If not, I'll stay anyway and can rent out the extra room like a bed and breakfast. Dirk left yesterday, but Elke's still here until Wednesday. We also have a Swedish bicyclist, Marcus, here for two days. It really could be a good idea renting this place out. I could be a slum lord! Maybe Bob and I could open a bed and breakfast in Málaga. It needs one. Potential! I still haven't gotten ahold of Bob. Last night and all day today, I've felt sick. I slept all day. María José came by for a while. She's leaving Sunday for England. Last night, Barbara, Hazlo (a very interesting Indian-British guy who's traveling) and Reijo (from Finland) and I talked about a lot of philosophical stuff. I really enjoy doing that. Hazlo told me where he thinks I can buy some hash. That could be fun.

2:00 pm

Just when life is chugging along toward perfection -- a derailment. Yop is moving somewhere else. So now I need to find another roommate or make a big move to a permanent apartment. I don't want to give up the beachfront terrace yet, though. And I'd like to see how the job goes before I decide where to live for good. It would've been nice with Yop here, but it probably would've been frustrating, too. He's not gay, Mike. Last night I was feeling lonely. I need to find more friends. Permanent friends. I went with Annelies to some Spanish bars and even met a couple of her friends. But they're a bit too tranquilo for me. I need some gay friends. Gitta's leaving at the end of the week. Barbara's got a boyfriend. Yes, I have friends, but not real close friends. I saw Mitchell yesterday. This job sounds so promising. He wants me to work next Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I suggested a minimum of $10/hour. I think he was expecting to pay more. Tomorrow we'll try to finalize money matters, but I think I'll be making very good money! Maybe $20/hour for editing. Maybe it'll be good enough to convince Bob to move here. Dammit. I hope he's really thinking about it seriously. He's probably not. Once he gets here, how could he refuse this lifestyle? I really want to be serious about a life together. I'm trying to bounce back from this depression over Yop last night. Another 4 weeks before Bob's here! Too long. I'll call him again today.

1:15 pm

Sevilla -- una maravilla. Jane and I had a riot in Sevilla at the Expo. It was so fantastic! So many things to do, places to see, cultures to learn about. What a shame we had only one day. Bob and I will have to go back for at least 2 days. So many fantastic multi-media presentations, too. Now I'm thinking I should have tried to get a job there. It would have been an incredible six months! I'll have to be content to visit several times. We stayed out fairly late Wednesday night at a cafe near the cathedral -- my favorite spot in Sevilla. Then Thursday was Expo. We spent 12 hours at the pavilions, but only saw a few -- Australia, France, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Hungary, Spain, Valencia and Telecommunications. At night, we met Bek and partied at the Kangaroo Pub -- lot of fun. Jane slam-dancing with shopping bags in hand. On Friday we came to Málaga and spent the day along the beach front, meeting many of my friends I do have here. Never did find Yop, though. Last night, Jane was sick, so I didn't get to show her my town. Oh well. We had a pretty good time together, nonetheless. I hope she hooked up with her tour in Granada all right. I love visitors, but I hate to see them leave. That's hard. I need to get Bob to seriously think about moving here. I was supposed to se Mitchell yesterday, but couldn't get ahold of him. Frustrating delays again. I'll call him today. And María José. I need to get together with her, too. I really need Yop to move in here. I get so lonely by myself, even if it's not for long. I got the greatest letter from Dianne Sonnefeld. She told me I am a frolicking otter She is so fun. I love my friends.