10:40 pm

I've been re-reading my journal from June 10, 1985 - June 8, 1986. My, what a year! I'm thinking of making a chart of my life. Graph the high and low trends. The ecstasy, the depression. The wavering. What has brought me out of depressions? Jobs, I think. What has gotten me into depressions? Relationships -- or lack of. Financial problems, too. It's so weird reading that stuff. Almost like it happened to someone else. And so much is so embarrassing. The whining over Kevin Krupsky. Incredible. All a part of my life-journey. I loved getting stoned and writing so much Friday night. Great fun. Yesterday, I did a wedding with José, Alberto and Manuel (he's more fantasy material, by the way.) I hated not understanding their conversations. But later on, we had some good discussions. I would've really enjoyed myself if it weren't for the language barrier. More frustrations. I went to the beach in Torremolinos today. My bike seat got stolen. Shit. More money. They didn't have the meeting at work on Friday. Tomorrow. Mañana. I told Herbert again how frustrated I am and how un-respected I feel. If I don't get paid tomorrow, I'm going to stop working until I do. I talked to Paul last night. It's been one of the coldest, rainiest summers in Detroit's history. I'm so glad I'm not there! You know, I wrote in my journal, asking my mom to "intervene on my behalf" just before I got the job in Port Huron -- which pulled me out of probably my life's worst depression. Interesting. I guess I still need to talk to my mom and dad. They're still watching over me, I'm sure of it.