Tuesday, October 13, 1992

11:50 pm

So what does it mean to turn 30? Who cares? People have a tendency to analyze their lives at this juncture. All I know is that I'm very content. You know, I seem to be much happier with myself when I'm not thinking about men. Kiko tells me I need a boyfriend. Annelies tries to fix me up with Javier. De talks about not wanting to be alone when she's 40. I could drive myself crazy. I see the men patrolling the park near city hall looking for some action. What's it all about, Alfie? Of course, I think about being with someone. Of course, I feel sometimes that "life is passing me by" because I don't have someone to share it with. But when I meet men I'm interested in, I always drive myself crazy. I'm thinking of going to a gay bar in Torremolinos with the neighbors on Saturday. I'd like to go to dance to good music and be with friends. And, yes, I'd like to meet someone. But what if I do? Then what? Problems creep up. Seguro.

So I only have 2 more days of work! Then I'm free! Let's see if they pay me!

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